Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby,
so why don’t you kill me?

— beck david hansen

—

The good news: I’m feeling fine again.

The bad news: The covid mambo has left me hopelessly behind in the September mileage game.

Granted, there really IS no September mileage game. The real hootenanny starts Oct. 1, but I was hoping to use this month to establish my fearsome prowess over competitors. I have turned out to be considerably less than fearsome.

The Fit PA Fancy Pants Training Plan and Beck Dance Party© has a bunch of miles scheduled for the coming weeks, but I’m not sure it will be enough to catch up. Renting an e-scooter and cheating like crazy is the obvious answer, but I don’t have the technological chops to figure out the app, or the coordination required to navigate on two wheels.

So I guess we see how it goes. Does it even make sense to try to push hard in the month before the month when you will push hard? Does ANY of this make sense? Not so much. But I guess that’s why it’s fun.

I have graduated to the Just Another Happy Dog course to get used to ATY and to make for fewer loops. It’s truly the Range Rover of loop courses, if Range Rovers are good. I drive a Honda Fit and an old Toyota pickup, so what do I know. It’s a mile-and-a-half loop with four flushies at various locations around the course, two icy water fountains, a little pool perfect for dunking a hat, about the same proportion of sidewalk, asphalt and dirt as ATY, and a dog park, multiple baseball fields and the Lasso Soccer Complex for entertainment. I think this will be my home for October. How many courses have I said that about so far?

“Don’t believe everything that you breathe,” the prophet Beck once said amid two turntables and a microphone. I think what he meant was that …. well, I have no idea what he meant. But he’s a loser, so whatever.

I increasingly think the vermin came at the perfect time. A delightful rest, and now it’s time to get serious. I’m coming for you, Russell Stoddart …