I think if I ruin this
That I know I can live with it
Nothing turns out like I pictured it
Maybe the emptiness is just a lesson in canvases
I think if I fail again
That I know you’re still listening
Maybe it’s all gonna turn out alright
And I know that it’s not, but I have to believe that it is

— julien rose baker

—

Today’s assignment is so simple. Run 4 easy miles. Just don’t do anything stupid. Like run on trails.

And so I find myself running on trails.

Because sometimes that whole mountains calling Muir on his cellphone thing becomes too much to ignore. Because it was a little cooler today. Because I live in a desert and sometimes need to remember. Just because.

Luckily, I extended my no-crash streak to one day. It was a fine way to start my new collaboration with Mr. Bruce Denton. Maybe he will understand in a way Coach Kim could not. Sometimes you just need a trail.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture, the old saying goes. I think the same applies to explaining trail running.

Why drive a long way and then risk life and limb on an unforgiving path for the same training miles you could get on the familiar course just down the road? How do you describe that feeling of tip-toeing through the rocks while the chollas prepare to attack? The endless vistas with the Superstitions waving hello in the distance? The impossibly delicate blooms rising from unforgiving cacti? The absolute silence of the desert? Michael Murphey’s Desert Rat playing on repeat in your head?

I guess you just had to be there.

I was.

Sorry for the detour, Bruce. I’ll try harder to stick to the plan. I don’t want to ruin this.

But when the saguaros call, they deserve an answer. And I’m not good with appointments.

Maybe it’s all gonna turn out alright, this race, this training block, this life.

And I know that it’s not.

But I have to believe that it is.

—

It’s just that I talked to somebody again
That knows how to help me get better
Until then I should just try not to miss any more
Appointments