“I want to be like the waves on the sea,
like the clouds in the wind,
but I’m not.”

— sandra cisneros

—

In sickness and in health, till death do you part.

I kept reminding Mo about that while she worked on my toe. She seemed to think the death part might be OK. But despite being almost as squeamish as me about this stuff, she is always there to patch me up. We keep a tab on the chocolate bill.

I had this theory about the little toe. It kept getting worse. I thought if I kept running in the same shoes day after day without doing anything, it might get better. This proved to be a False Theory.

It’s impossible to work on one’s pinky toe given that it’s hard to get to, especially when one is a sissy and afraid of pain. That’s where a loving wife comes in handy. Especially if the hand is holding a needle.

Things went OK until SHE JABBED THE NEEDLE INTO MY FREAKING TOE!!!! I jumped. Max the cat jumped. Mo jumped. The phone she was using as a surgical flashlight jumped. Somewhere, a geriatric David Lee Roth jumped, although only a couple of inches, and he had to be helped off the stage.

Still, it worked. A bit of quarter-inch tape, a pack of Lorna Doones and a swig of Campho-Phenique, and I was back on the road. Which, as it turns out, wasn’t a road at all.

Sometimes accidents lead to happy endings. I was on the Smoocha Mucha Lucha Lasso course when I took a wrong turn, which led to the canal.

I always somehow forget how perfect the canal is for running. 280 billion miles of dirt trail, interrupted only by Ominous Power Lines that the baby doc assures us won’t kill me. At least not any more than 99 degree outings.

Toxic mutant giant fish (think The Simpsons), bird parties, Serious Runners — they’re all here. Bonus: a sidewalk is included, just in case you miss pounding your knees. And it’s the same parking lot as the Lasso loop, so it’s still the home turf.

I’ve always wondered exactly how long one loop is. Today I found out.

Including the little Lasso extension, it is EXACTLY FIVE MILES.

This has dramatic implications for my running plans. I can use this loop as a starting point, running multiple loops with the car acting as an aid station. Actually I suppose it WILL be an aid station, so there will be no need to act. OK, maybe that wasn’t so dramatic.

It’s the best of both worlds, although I think that song was during the Sammy Hagar incarnation and therefore would elicit no leaping from Mr. Roth. This is the first Serious Week in the Fit PA Fancy Pants Training Plan©, and I’ve been wondering what would be the best route for longer miles. And here it is!

It’s got everything. Birds. Dirt. Water fountains. Bathrooms. Icee machines. A Smarty Pants vitamin dispenser at the turnaround. OK, there’s no Icee machine. or bathroom. Or water fountains. And the Smarty Pants dispenser is likely a hallucination. Did I mention it’s been hot here for the last three months or so? But there IS a lot of dirt, and the birds promise to discreetly look away when I pee in the bushes.

Today was remarkably slow, given that I feel great and keep hoping one day I’ll get even a little faster. And I DO have almost two weeks before the race, so plenty of time to build, peak and taper by then, right?

“I want to be like the waves on the sea, like the clouds in the wind, but I’m not.”

Such a beautiful sentiment. And I know that feeling too well.

If you can’t be the waves on the sea, be a turtle on the canal. The clouds won’t care.

Time to make some more blisters.

In sickness and in health, till death do us part …