“It’s gotta be the shoes!”

— mars blackmon

—

I’m trying to break the 15-minute mile on the SCC track. Josh Kerr recently uncorked a 3:42.66 to shatter the world record, so 14:59 isn’t too much to ask, is it?

Apparently so.

Another 3.6 miles on the Fancy Training Plan ©, still locked into 15:30s. Maybe it’s the shoes. I’m wearing the Escalante Racers, but they’re zero drop. Maybe my legs need a little dropping?

I mentally sort through the choices as I meander around the track. The Mount to Coasts don’t seem very fast. You would think the Hyper Speeds would be speedy, but mostly they’re hype. And I could break out the waffle trainers, which are undeniably fast but feel like my feet are in a vice, and not in a good way. Plus, I would want waffles. Mmmmmm. Waffles. Dammit.

Stupid shoes. Holding me back.

And then.

A distinguished gentleman passes me wearing Converse All Stars. He’s one of those old guys who shimmy at a 12 minute pace, flying along despite looking like he’s just out for a stroll. Which I suppose he is.

And I begin to think that, with apologies to Spike Lee, it might not be the shoes at all.

“Many can argue; not many converse,” Amos Bronson Alcott may or may not have said once. I have no idea who Amos Bronson Alcott was. Likely another alter ego of Spike Lee.

But you can’t argue with converse when a guy is sailing around the track in black high-tops. Mostly because you’ll never catch up to him.

Maybe I just suck.

Or possibly I need some Converse All-Stars.

Yeah, that one.

Never doubt Spike Lee.